Hey, readers. Sorry to have to inform you that this week’s Indie Wonderland is delayed: I have *legitimately* had the busiest workload of my entire life the past two weeks. We’re talking old-school literally literally. That phase is over, now, but I’ll need some time to pick up the pieces.
And by ‘some time’, I mean ‘one day’. This week’s Indie Wonderland will go up tomorrow. Because not even the heaviest workload imaginable is going to delay me for more than 24 Goddamn hours.
Runers is a strange game name. It doesn’t really gel in my mind well, for some reason, keeps sending me on weird association tangents. Runers. Runners. Ruffles. Rubbers. Rubles. Rupees? Does Runers take place in the super-convoluted Legend of Zelda timeline? It’s impossible to say that for sure about any game, to be honest: predicting the Zelda canon timeline is like predicting two plus two equals gumballs. But wait… Runers has six letters in the title, divided by two equals… Half-Life 3 confirmed?
In non-insanity news, Runers is also the first game by two-man outfit LGK Games, colloquially ‘Let’s Get Kraken’. It’s supposedly a game all about crafting spells, which I like, and then using said spells to adventure through infinite dungeons, which I also like. Two out of two sounds like a pretty good score, so I ‘leveraged’ some ‘industry contacts’ by ‘inadvertently whining at them’, and here we are!
Let’s see if spell-crafting and spell-slinging are all they’re cracked up to be.
(Spoiler levels: Narrative, nonexistent. Mechanical, medium, but also quite low.)
Justin here, and yep, we’re doing a GIVEAWAY! For FREE GAMES! Let me explain the circumstances first.
Readers, Jarenth and I have a problem, and said problem came to a head earlier this week. You may have seen that I tried to plan a Morbus gaming session. I’ve had the idea of Ninja Blues gaming sessions for awhile, and it took until now to give it a shot. But as you may know if you follow me on Twitter, nobody showed up. My friends and I hopped on, the Steam group event commenced, and I got a message from a friend saying “wtf is Morbus?”
As stated in the most recent Talk of the Ninja, my friend(s) and I are playing Morbus tonight and you all are invited. If you own Garry’s Mod and added the four Workshop mods I listed, please join the Steam group and message me so I know you’re up for it.
Time? Let’s say… 7:00 PM, Central time. That’s about five hours from right now. If there end up being around 4 or less people we’ll probably end up using Teamspeak like usual, so you may want to download the Teamspeak 3 client. I’ll tell you the Ninja Blues server address if we make that our choice.
Readers, what’s your favourite system of public transportation? I’ll tell you what mine is: it’s the metro. Subway, underground, whatever you want to call it. I love the metro. For an agoraphobic like myself, whose panic-fear expresses itself in a discomfort around wide open spaces, the ability to go deep underground, board a carriage, and emerge halfway across the city without even having the sensation of travel is pretty much magic. It’s as close to customer-level teleportation as we’re likely to get within my lifetime, is what I’m saying.
So when Steam helpfully informed me about the recent arrival of a game called Mini Metro — by the two-Curry outfit called Dinosaur Polo Club, no less — it was clear what I was going to have to do.
(Go hang out in Vienna for half a week, messing up my Indie Wonderland schedule something fierce.)
Mini Metro is currently in Early Access. Very Early Access. How Early Access is Mini Metro? Let me tell you: Mini Metro currently has no sound. None of it. Not a peep. Unintentionally so: it’s supposed to have sound, and the current opening screens have a habit of profusely apologizing for the current lack of it. But this is how Early Access Mini Metro is: when Peter and Robert Curry found they had the time to either get their game in a playable state, or to provide their unplayable build with aural support, they simply shrugged, grabbed some earplugs, and coded their game into existence in 0-dB silence.
Yes, that’s my imaginary story and I’m sticking with it.
Anyway, standard Early Access review disclaimers apply: I’ll try to talk mostly about the completed things, the elements I think are crucial enough that they’ll definitely make it into the game proper, but I’m no seer by any stretch. Who knows, maybe Mini Metro does have sound by the time you read this. Unnecessary addition, in my opinion, but weirder things have happened.
I have a few friends that I’ve been playing Garry’s Mod with for awhile.
Garry’s Mod is an interesting beast — it’s a creativity tool used to create countless game modes that can be downloaded and played through the one program — but most game modes are either vapid or extremely confusing and unintuitive, and in both cases you can always feel the Garry’s Mod limitations straining them. There’s a survival horror mode, but it mostly relies on jump scares and you’re ultimately just running around in a custom Source map with “spooky” particle effects and models. There’s a parkour mode, but it feels like you’re exploiting a wall-jump glitch, rather than moving fluidly and naturally along obstacles like in Mirror’s Edge.
The types of modes we tended to latch onto most were the ones that followed the “Mafia” style of social play: you’re in a group, and one of you is the “bad guy,” and you have to figure out who it is. Unless you’re the bad guy, in which case you need to kill everyone else while maintaining your disguise as a not-bad guy.
The two modes we switched between for the longest time were Trouble in Terrorist Town, and Murder. In Murder the killer has a knife and one of the innocents is randomly given a gun. This way it’s up to the gunner to track down the killer. In TTT everyone can pick up guns, making a tense sort of “I don’t know if I can trust this guy or if I should kill him” gameplay.
Both are decent, but the main problem with both is that if you’re not the killer, there’s no reason not to huddle up with others and just wait for the killer to run out of time. If the killer has to jump into the group of people to win, everyone else can jump away from and/or attack the killer and it’ll be fine.
But just recently we discovered a new mode called Morbus. And Morbus fixes almost every issue we’ve had up to now.
Hi, Internet! Were you hoping for a second Discourse Dojo? Well we made one anyway, because you can’t stop us. And this time we have an intro theme, courtesy of incompetech! So now there’s something on Ninja Blues that actually involves blues.
This episode is about Shovel Knight, a retro throwback to the side-scrolling action platformers of old. It is available on Wii-U, 3DS and PC.
We had technical issues hosting the audio last time. We’re trying it again this time, and if the issues persist, we’ll put on our safety goggles and dig into server support. If you’re having trouble listening to the full podcast through our site, here it is in Youtube form:
Note from Ninjustin:
That story at the beginning was honestly not planned. We did a bunch of rambling before we properly started the show, most of which was cut out, but I felt that particular bit was worth keeping in. The echo from last recording seems to be gone here — I turned my voice activation detection on Teamspeak down just a bit to make sure it didn’t pick up Jarenth’s voice coming out of my headset speakers.
Also, I know we griped a whole bunch, but Shovel Knight is a very fun and charming action platformer and you should play it if you’re into that sort of thing.
Jibe from Jarenth:
Unfocused rambling is how podcasts are supposed to start. That’s just basic science fact, yo.
Be honest, internet: do you like my fancier mic? I dug it out specifically to sound my best for you. I dressed up in my Sunday best, too, but you probably didn’t see that. I… I think?
Shovel Knight was quite fun! It’s flawed, in ways, but also pretty and interesting and pretty interesting! It’s definitely a game I would recommend playing in bursts, maybe one or two levels per play session, but it manages to entertain pretty consistently throughout that. Even if the siren lure of the Phase Locket never really goes away.
I can’t believe we didn’t mention Mario 3′s overworld as an influence on Shovel Knight even once.
Hey readers. I have good news and bad news for you. Which one do you want first? Too late: I’m choosing for you, and I pick bad news.
Because I’ve vastly underestimated the time and energy drain that would result from me travelling to and working in Vienna this week, I simply don’t have it in me to create any reasonable Indie Wonderland this week. I’m sorry, this is bad planning on my part. And I’ll be here for another half week, so next week’s column is probably going to be a shorter one as well. Again, I’m sorry: I try to balance Real Work Life and Indie Wonderland as much as I can, but this week, Real Work Life took the round. But, like, not even with a fatality or anything. Just… it scored one good hit, then ran out the clock.
The good news, though, is that no Indie Wonderland this week won’t mean no anything this week. As it turns out, much like before, Justin swung by at the last possible minute to grab the game I was going to write about — Shovel Knight, in this case — and hijack it into a podcast instead. So instead of reading Indie Wonderland: Shovel Knight this week, you can all look forward to listening to Justin and I ramble about it in Discourse Dojo: Shovel Knight instead.
So, in summary: no Indie Wonderland this week and half an Indie Wonderland next week — 25% efficiency, a new personal worst — but a new Discourse Dojo about the original topic as compensation. I hope this is acceptable for you, readers ‘o ours, because I nearly fell asleep three times while writing this last paragraph.
When I first heard the name I thought it would just be another slight variant, like the 3DS-XL or the 2DS. Once I heard that it’s the actual next step in Nintendo’s portable console scene and games made for it won’t be backwards-compatible with The Old 3DS, I checked to see if it was April 1st already. To my surprise, it is not.
I probably don’t have to say that this is a bad idea. This is a spectacularly bad idea. This feels like the culmination of all of Nintendo’s bad ideas for the past decade or two. Here’s why.
Gods, but I am tired. It’s ridiculous. I’m unfocused, I’ve been yawning all day today, and I can’t seem to muster the energy for most anything. You’ve ever had days like that, reader? Days that make you go ‘waking up today was a major mistake, I should just fall asleep already’?
I can’t go to sleep, sadly: it’s Monday afternoon and there’s work to be done, nets to be worked, columns to be written. But if I can’t go back to bed, I can do the next best thing and write about Back to Bed, Bedtime Digital Games‘ most recent absurdity-based isometric platformer-of-sorts. Which, writing it down like that, makes it sound a little like this game is nap-inducingly boring. I guess that sounded better in my head, huh? It wasn’t really the joke I was going for, so let me just be perfectly clear here by saying…
…well, I can’t actually say whether or not Back to Bed is nap-inducingly boring. I haven’t played it yet! Who knows, I might doze off while playing it yet: look out for the tell-tale signs of game-induced sleep, such as repeated words and phrases, screenshots that increasingly look like people yawning, repeated words and phrases, references to walking alarm clocks, repeated words and phrases, and parts of the column feeling unfinished and [don't forget to finish this section before publishing article -- F.J.]