Tag Archives: Starships

Jarenth Plays Starships — Episode 10: Unification

In the last episode of Jarenth Plays Starships, I finally, totally, completely defeated Vadim Kozlov and his Galactic Union. I conquered planet after planet, one after the next, until nobody but the most foolhardy would dare even declare their allegiance to that doomed Purity crusade. And then I found the one planet that had a bunch of those foolhardy braggarts, and I smacked the upstart right out of them.

Now, with the taints of red and brown finally scoured from the galactic map, the ranting voice of Vadim Kozlov has finally fled my precious airwaves. His fleet has disbanded, on his orders, to become independent raiding parties… reasoning that if all his ships combined couldn’t make a dent in my power, splitting them up into tiny groups might be more effective? I wouldn’t be able to guess at the reasoning, to be honest. But whatever the reason, whatever the case, the last of the great non-Supremacy power blocs has finally fallen.

And as for me? Well, I’m doing alright. I’m doing very alright, if you’ll permit me a little brag. In fact, according to all power metrics, I can’t be more than one turn away from total galactic victory. And I’m sure I will reach total galactic victory, sooner or later, if I just keep conquering enemy planets…

…assuming I can build up the conviction to do so.

After the break: I don’t want to wipe Suzanne off the map. I really don’t. I *like* Suzanne! But honestly, what other choice do I *have*?

Jarenth Plays Starships — Episode 9: Cleaning House

In the last episode of Jarenth Plays Starships, I rounded out my collection of Prior Pals just in time for two of them to wrap up their fusion dance. Samatar folded his United Collective into Vadim’s Galactic Union, creating a new and unprecedented combined faction which was… about as powerful as any of the other non-me factions currently on the board. About half as powerful as me. Not necessarily immediately dangerous, but respectable; a potential future contender to my throne, maybe, given enough time to grow and develop.

So obviously, I immediately hit them with the full force of my fleet.

I stopped short of capturing the Union’s new adopted home world of Lyrae 80, because… well, because it looked undefended, for all intents and purposes. And I didn’t trust it. Who leaves their most valuable planet wide open to attack? So, instead of blindly rushing into what could well be a trap, I decided to wait things out. Let Vadim and Samatar make their moves first, and see what happens. If they were waiting for me to fall for something, it’ll be hilarious to watch them get more and frustrated as I don’t bite. And if there really wasn’t anything going on, well… just because I didn’t roll over their home world then, doesn’t mean that I can’t do it now.

After the break: a move *is* made, surprisingly enough. But is it a galaxy-spanning trap worth taking extra precautions for?…

Jarenth Plays Starships — Episode 8: Two Become None

In the last episode of Jarenth Plays Starships, I conquered Nemesis 70, the erstwhile marauder home world, and added a faction of bloodthirsty pirate warriors to my empire. Technologically-minded pirate warriors, though, so I’m sure they’ll fit right in. Now, with yet another home world-class planet flying the United Federation flag, I’m almost positive no single enemy faction can realistically stand against me. Unless one or two of them have some really clever ideas, I predict smooth sailing from here on out.

After the break: And let’s be realistic: what are the chances of that happening? These doofuses wouldn’t know a really clever idea if it was presented to them in the form of a Let’s Play episode.

Jarenth Plays Starships — Episode 7: Destiny Of A Different Sort

In the last episode of Jarenth Plays Starships, Rejinaldo Bolivar de Alencar goaded me into removing all traces of him from the universe. I took his planets, all of them, partially because of the resources involved and partially because I was afraid of what his inevitable retaliation would look like. But rather than strike back, Rejinaldo took his fleet and his people and sailed clear out of the universe. And that makes me… sad? We were never friends, per se, but our galaxy was a brighter place for his inclusion. I hope he’s happy now, wherever he is.

I mean, I fully intend to go check once I’m done taking things over here. I didn’t think I was gonna limit myself to ruling one galaxy, did you?

After the break: but now I’m getting ahead of myself. First things first: don’t put the universe-exploring horse before the galaxy-conquest wagon.

Jarenth Plays Starships — Episode 6: You Can’t Take Just One

In the last episode of Jarenth Plays Starships, I paid a quick courtesy visit to Vadim Kozlov’s home planet, Hydrae 96. Then I took it over. My fleet defeated his fleet in straight-up combat, proving once and for all that super-powered fighter jets are way better than cumbersome planetary defense platforms. ‘Megabots’, my shiny metal…

I called immediate shore leave after that battle. Partially because the SS Defiant took a major beating, partially because crew energy levels were abysmal — their morale was excellent, but morale only gets you so far if you keep nodding off and your internal software keeps asking for update reboots — and partially to gloat. But mostly, mostly, to anticipate Vadim’s inevitable counterattack. I could have tried adding more planets to my empire in the interim, but here’s the thing: Hydrae 96’s resources equal about three normal planets. And I’m not about to lose this major payday to that Slavic space jockey just because I couldn’t sit still for five minutes.

After the break: Or for one galactic year, as the case actually turns out.

Jarenth Plays Starships — Episode 5: Second Verse

In the last episode of Jarenth Plays Starships, I finally convinced several planets to join the United Federation on a full membership. Two planets, in fact: Doradus 24, my diplomatic beach resort home-away-from-home, and Draconis 96, Doradus’ sadly un-lizard-like closest friend and trading partner. I met back up with Vadim Kozlov and Samatar Jama Barre, although neither were particularly thrilled to see me, and I even made a second trip to Leporis 38 to undo the damage to my reputation Vadim’s fleet had done there.

And then, I found myself in an interesting spot. Leporis 38, you see, is only one jump away from Vadim’s home world. Vadim’s juicy, productive, valuable home world. The center of his Galactic Union, and the seat of his power. And I found myself thinking, imagining, daydreaming…

…wouldn’t putting my battle fleet in orbit around Hydrae 96 be the ultimate slap in the face?

After the break: I could do it, you know. It’d be as easy as clicking a single button. But should I?

Jarenth Plays Starships — Episode 4: Minor Oversight

In the last episode of Jarenth Plays Starships, I caught up with some ‘old friends’. It was weird seeing my former planet buddies again. And can you believe what Rejinaldo looks like now? I mean, I understand wanting to put as much distance between yourself and the Purity alignment as you reasonably can. But to go from that to Harmony? What a weird lateral move. That’s like trading a pair of ratty, beat-down loafers for a pair of undersized, chafing high heels. Both have their ups and downs, sure. But if you’re in the market to trade anyway, why not just get robot feet?

After a double meet ‘n greet, I went about the business of expanding my empire more. Thrice more did innocent planets call for help, and thrice more did the United Federation fleet lay the smack down on fleets of Marauders and pirates. My proto-empire is now larger than ever: no less than five planets willingly supply me with their adoration and resources. It’s not quite a galaxy-spanning Empire Of The Stars yet, but I’m getting there!

Just as long as I don’t end up forgetting some vital steps. But really, what are the odds of that happening?

After the break: Yeah, that shoe example isn’t my best-ever piece of writing. I tried real hard to come up with a comparison that didn’t suck. Obviously, I failed at that.

Jarenth Plays Starships — Episode 3: First Contact

In the last episode of Jarenth Plays Starships, I spread the first tendrils of my influence throughout the galaxy. Normae 28, Columbae 43, and Doradus 24: all three planets were suffering from unaffiliated pirate attacks, and the United Federation fleet arrived thrice in the nick of time to dispense our particular kind of laser-fisted help. In return, the citizenry of each planet showered us with rewards and admiration: credits and technology were gifted outright, and generous trade routes and promises of future resources were promised. Our little United Federation isn’t any larger yet, but if I keep this up… Impressed as I was by Normae 28’s Food production capabilities, I even pre-emptively decided to invest my own resources in their infrastructure. I have good hope this investment’ll pay off in our favour in the long run.

I also encountered no less than two opposing empires during my initial outing: the Supreme Galactic Empire, and the Second Galactic Alliance. Language barriers meant I couldn’t figure out how to communicate with them the first time around. But the march of scientific progress is unrelenting, and after a year of stationary consolidation, ADVISR tells me we should be able to open communications any moment now. In fact, I think ADVISR is trying to get my attention right this moment…

After the break: Talks are had. Talks are boring. Action is had! Action is never boring!

Jarenth Plays Starships — Episode 2: Lay Of The Land

In the last episode of Jarenth Plays Starships, I took my first careful steps on the road to social galactic domination. I upgraded my ships, used my Science to advance some technologies, and took on a hit contract to take our some thugs. Sorry, sorry: I mean I ‘defended the helpless planet Normae 28 from an encroaching Marauder fleet lead by a fearsome advanced dreadnought’. Whatever makes you sleep at night, Normae 28 government. The resulting improved relations between Normae 28 and my United Federation mean that the people from that planet now give me half of all resources they produce, so I certainly won’t be confronting any moral dilemmas.

Oh, and I also ran into a purple border on the stellar map. And I’m pretty sure this means ‘enemy territory’. The game just got more interesting, and we’re only one episode in.

After the break: It’s a small universe after all.

Jarenth Plays Starships — Episode 1: Into The Void

In the last episode of Jarenth Plays Starships, it turned out that victory in Terra Atlantea wasn’t quite the high road to galactic conquest that I was hoping it would be. The galaxy is vast and rich with wonder, apparently, and full of more human-colonized planet than you could shake an entire arboreal planet’s worth of sticks at. My ersthwhile planetary competitors have all gone on to usurp and lead nascent interstellar empires while I was out ‘upgrading’ the citizens of Old Earth. And if I want to have any shot at staying on top of things, I have no real choice but to follow their leads. Time for a new galactic season of fashion: open warfare is out, careful diplomacy is in!

After the break: open warfare is out *now*. But how long do you reckon this diplomatic fad will last? Pretty dang long, as it turns out.