Skyscraper Simulator, given to me by online Twitter-friend Irridium Underscores, is ostensibly — if Steam is to be believed — a game by the incredibly unwieldely-named United Independent Entertainment GmbH… or UIG Entertainment, for ‘short’. I say ‘ostensibly’ because, even though UIG Entertainment has an impressive laundry list of simulation games on their website — Airport Simulator, Towtruck Simulator, Waterpark Simulator, Woodcutter Simulator — Skyscraper Simulator isn’t actually on that list. Steam lists a company called Actalogic as a second developer, but their site is deader than disco. Which leaves us, the players, with the uncomfortable impression that… maybe Skyscraper Simulator hasn’t been developed at all? Maybe it’s always existed, part of the boundary conditions of the universe? Implacably watching, observing, waiting?
Anyway: the aforementioned Irridium gifted my Skyscraper Simulator under the condition that, if this game does allow you to create your own skyscrapers, I create a penis skyscraper for him. Not just a tall tower, too, something as close to anatomically correct as it would let me. Which, let’s be honest: I was probably going to try doing that anyway. I guess that does mean there’s a better-than-average chance of this column ending up NSFW. But then again, given that I write this column to ramble about video games, should you really be reading this at work to begin with?
(Spoiler levels: Narrative, n/a. Mechanical, medium, I GUESS.)