Gods, but I am tired. It’s ridiculous. I’m unfocused, I’ve been yawning all day today, and I can’t seem to muster the energy for most anything. You’ve ever had days like that, reader? Days that make you go ‘waking up today was a major mistake, I should just fall asleep already’?
I can’t go to sleep, sadly: it’s Monday afternoon and there’s work to be done, nets to be worked, columns to be written. But if I can’t go back to bed, I can do the next best thing and write about Back to Bed, Bedtime Digital Games‘ most recent absurdity-based isometric platformer-of-sorts. Which, writing it down like that, makes it sound a little like this game is nap-inducingly boring. I guess that sounded better in my head, huh? It wasn’t really the joke I was going for, so let me just be perfectly clear here by saying…
…well, I can’t actually say whether or not Back to Bed is nap-inducingly boring. I haven’t played it yet! Who knows, I might doze off while playing it yet: look out for the tell-tale signs of game-induced sleep, such as repeated words and phrases, screenshots that increasingly look like people yawning, repeated words and phrases, references to walking alarm clocks, repeated words and phrases, and parts of the column feeling unfinished and [don’t forget to finish this section before publishing article — F.J.]
(Spoiler levels: Narrative, high. Mechanical, high.)